Date: Friday, May 22
AO: Firepit
QiC - Masters of Shitshow
PAX: Waterboy, OT, HackFace, Macaroni, Licker, Lump, Wilson, ClickBait, Delorean, Stirrups, Shoota, Billie Jean King, Hoser, Import, Shocker and Scud Row.
Who is on Q? Anybody? Nobody? Anyone want it? (Shoota steps out of the darkness and offers to Q....quickly told to go screw himself)....Anyone...Delorean has a bright idea how about we rotate every 5 minutes....no that is stupid D, shut your trap....Scud volunteered...no he didn't. Welp we're officially a minute late so Delorean starts the shitshow.
Q1 Delorean
WoR: Delorean offered up his usual. SSHs, BACS, Back BACs, tempo merkins, Good Mornings, stretches of some other sort, then more tempo merkins since he can't count cadence appropriately. 10 burpees buy-in. Then he just looks around like someone else is going to take over, like he somehow just set the precedent for how to Q! Nobody offers, so.....he makes OT take over!
Q2 OT
OT takes off moseying with a look of bewilderment in his eye, clearly pondering why the hell Delorean just pawned off the Q on him. As we pass the playground OT quickly decides to divide the PAX up for 40 swerkins each. Continue mosey to the large lot.
Thang 2
Circle up...social distancing included...Laney Lou merkins. Kudos to OT for using the proper terminology, clearly he spends his nights studying the Exicon. Then a random 100 monkey humpers. At this point OT is out of ideas and Licker is fed up with it. To the hill he proclaimed.
Q3 Licker
Jacobs Ladder - merkins and squats, politician up the hill and sprint down. HackFace was not excited when someone supposedly beat him. Starting mumbling and screaming but at this point nobody cared any more.
Finished that and Licker just keeps going. A man on a mission knowing we are captain-less and rudderless in this battle. He was exactly the man for this job and was willing to step up and proudly stake his claim at the top of the sand pile!
Back to the parking lot up front, where Licker would prove he actually WASN'T the Grown man we thought he was, and that his son, Hobbs, may in fact be more manly than Licker. Pax broke up in 4 groups starting in 4 corners. Each station was different; WWIIs, squats, merkins and Freddie Mercs. Mode of transportation between each one is "bear CRAWL"...whoa what was that? Did Licker's balls just drop? The high pitch squelch was ear ringing...he wouldn't live this down for the next 10 minutes. The MC went up as many notches as his voice did. Other modes included; crab walk, lunges and broad jumps.
Q4 Wilson stepped up and offered the Bear Crawl Ring of Fire with Mucho Chesto...or was it Lump? I mean it was kind of Wilson, at least until Lump told him you suck and life and have no idea what you're talking about! The best part of this was the extremely childish giggle of Delorean who seemed to think it was the funniest thing he has seen since Shocker identifying F3 Franklin actually has a "line". He laughed through the entire thing, including the point where Click Bait had to actually use the passing lane on him during the Bear Crawl Ring of Fire. Who gets passed on a bear crawl ring of fire?
Wilson would find redemption though by throwing down a brutal, much welcomed, Captain Thor to take us to the finish li....wait, nope. Still have time. 10 burpee buy out. At this point we welcomed back FNG Hoser who actually remembered we wear gloves at F3 Franklin.
25 clap merkins for the post party....we out.
Moleskin:
Wow....what was that?! Awesomeness is what it was. I haven't laughed that much in awhile. It was, as I can best describe, a shit show. A glorious, wonderfully choreographed workout that included randomness, no flow, laughs and sweat. Just the kind of thing I appreciate! Love you dudes, keep accelerating and never stop laughing. You guys are awesome.
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