Date: Wednesday, August 19th
AO: The Jimmy
QiC: Shoota
PAX: Dukey, HackFace, Delorean, Scud Row, Wilson, Oregon Trail, Tuna, FNG Puddin', ClickBait, Noble Virus, House Arrest, Spandex, Movin on Up, Braddock, Lump, Jorts, Import, Gig'em, Hoser, Chyna, GlowStick and Licker.
Pre-Party - Every Q has a good plan. I had a plan. It was detailed, I had planned it all out the day before. I had a plan. I was ready to deliver on a bunch of promises. It all started with an early run, 3-4 miles with a few fast dudes that I just try to catch up to. Then deliver my beatdown to ensure no man could do a single more rep. Walking back to their cars they would be proud of the work they had just put in. Head held high knowing they got better this morning in the gloom. I had a plan, down to the minute. Detailed. Purposeful. Intentional. I had a plan.
Then it all went to crap, literally! 0435 I began a battle that I wouldn't overcome without total disruption of my plan. Crumple it up, throw in the poop covered trashcan, and scrap the whole dang thing. I no longer had a plan, I had a catastrophe! I had been invaded by the scum of Texas dirt. The bottom feeder of the Texas hill country, the worthless Texas Armadillo! An animal so dumb that it typically ends up road kill because it is stupid enough to jump up and hit the bottom of a car that strategically tried to avoid killing it had somehow managed to crash through my half closed front door as I took the puppy out to pee before leaving. As a child I would chase them around our ranch and catch them by the tail just for fun. I never expected those days to be warrior training for the future 38 year old me. Other times, I would practice my aim with a .22 rifle. We once had to butcher a cow because she stepped in an armadillo hole and broke her leg, after that I was given the green light to sniper any Armadillo to support the feeding habits of the buzzards. I happily ate that poor cows ribeyes and t-bones, but I never forgave the armadillo for taking her from me so tragically. This was clearly the Armadillo gods punishing me for my adolescent transgressions against their kind as a result of a decades long feud.
A quick text to a few guys to tell them I wouldn't be sauntering with them through the morning gloom, then the epic battle of 2020 would resume. A corner, a punch, a jump, a kick and a chair throw. Numerous slides and dashes, anger, disgust and turmoil. It would all culminate in the corner of the dining room. Two glowing eyes starring me down, both of us knowing only one would win this war. A quick flick of the wrist and the battle would be short lived as I grabbed it by the tail and whipped it into the air. Except the Dillo would get the last laugh...poop of despair all over the place. Clearly a crappy loser the Dillo would relieve itself all over the walls, plantation shutters and hard wood floors. While I may have captured the rabid beast, it wouldn't go cleanly into the night. A discus throw out the back door and I was left with a really crappy situation. I had 37 minutes to make it all disappear. At this point I hear the whispers in the night, "Shoota...Shoota....did you get it out". Thankfully we have some awesome HIMs in our group who valiantly answered the call and had run over from The Jimmy to help capture the beast. Thanks to HackFace, House Arrest and Oregon Trail for their willingness to risk their lives this morning, glad I didn't have to send you into the battle.
Now, speed to The Jimmy...you have 7 minutes to get there. Arrive and clearly the word had gotten out. I tell the entirety of the story in the 3 minutes I have left, so for those that attended they got a great laugh at my expense. It's all fun and games now, but the dreaded memory is forever engrained in the frontal lobe of my brain.
Disclaimer and welcome FNG Travis, later named Puddin'
Warm O Rama
SSHs
WMHs
GMs
Thang 1 - No need to mosey, lets just break it down right here
Burpee Apocalypse - you know what that is
New exercise - I called it the WMD (Weapon of Mass Destruction) - laney lou style exercise doing 5 reps of Werkins, Merkins and Diamonds (WMD). In a rotating fashion we do 5 werkins, 5 merkins and then 5 diamonds. Except since I am in a bad mood, we're all doing them together! That's right, Everyone does every rep. 23 guys that comes out to 115 various forms of pushups. Goes like this - Delorean calls cadence on 5 werkins for the group, ClickBait calls cadence on 5 merkins, Tuna calls cadence on 5 diamonds. We continue using that rotation until every pax has counted down 5 reps. BRUTAL! Men were already battling.
20 Jump Lunges - each leg is 1
Recover...let's take a breather by going back up on the Burpee Apocalypse! Starting at 1 and back to 10. At this point our FNG Puddin starts to walk off! Tuna where is he going? "Said he needed a water break".
Slow ass squats - on my cadence - make them deep! We do this 20ish times I think. The burn was REAL.
20 more jump lunges before we step off.
Thang 2
Mosey past the basketball courts to the baseball fields. Get your feet on top of the fence for some balls to the wall. 10 reps, then 9 reps. Then Delorean shouted out something about not getting up and just starting his 8. Not today Delorean! Everyone do 9 squats. Now 8 balls to the wall. Now 8 squats. Forced the pax not to cheat themselves, thanks for the idea Delorean! Did that all the way down, but at 6 we picked it up and went in fast forward.
Mosey to the track for Thang 3
Crab walk the straightaway, burpee broad jump the corner, bear crawl the straightaway, burpee broad jump the corner.
Round 2 - Sprint the Straightaway, lunge the corner, sprint again and lunge again. LBCs and Squats while we wait.
20 more slow ass squats. I like these because they force the pax to slow down and have good form. Held it at the bottom for awhile, FEEL THE BURN!
Politician up the hill and mosey back to the shovel flag.
Mary
It's a Shoota Q so you know how it ends. Captain Thors! All the way up to 10. Got them completed in 3 minutes, a new record!
COT - Prayer requests;
1) Victor - a friend of Braddock's - past away from COVID. Pray for his family as well as be reminded about the need to be diligent in social distancing and wearing masks.
2) Pre-K's wife went into labor last night! Pray for Blake and his wife as their family grows.
Today didn't start out all that well, but as always the men in the gloom made it better. I can't thank you guys enough for showing up and putting in the work! You make me better and I'll never be able to replay all that you have given me.
-Shoota
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